Let me ask you a question: What comes to your mind when we say the word ‘sexy’? Some may say eyes, some may say lips, and while others may talk about the personality of the person they’re courting. You can feel free to mutter your own kinks to yours. How can that be when the first thing people think of when they think of sex is reproduction? That is what we were taught in school too. Our teachers nervously stammered through a course-mandated lesson on the reproductive system, many choosing to advise the students to self-study the chapter. For many of us, that was our only ‘sex education’.

None of the aforementioned qualities have anything to do with the reproductive organs. Then it stands to reason, that attraction may have other forces acting on it than merely the need to have babies. After all, many of us do have sex even when we’re not ready to have babies. While at first glance, sex may be seen as biological, there are many aspects of sex that are sociological.

Sex has, for the long term, and is still regarded as a procreative exercise. However, pleasure is a major reason people have sex. Because this isn’t talked about widely, it drives conversation around non-procreative sex underground. However, this doesn’t prevent people from having sex, but all it does is that prevents people from having safe sex. Many young people aren’t aware of contraception methods or proper steps to protect oneself from STIs. All of this has resulted in a misuse of emergency contraceptive pills, condoms, and lack of access to other forms of contraception. This, therefore results in the lack of joyful sex.

Women, more than men are shamed for having pre-marital or non-procreative sex. In our everyday language, we use words whose implications we don’t fully understand. While men ‘score’ sex, women ‘give away their flower’. While men are lauded for their sexual prowess, women are shamed for their promiscuity.

Sex is fun. Sex is more than just okay. Sex can be empowering. For both men and women who consent to it, sex can be an amazing way to affirm the other person or express themselves.  We need to spread the word that sex is for both men and women. Sex is a celebration of togetherness and consent. It is not just for making babies.